You can not “identify” out of the system that is gender. Putting your hands over your ears and screaming “not listening!” does nothing to liberate women. These terms are meaningless and counter-productive. We don’t need more labels, we need ZERO. All references to gender should be abolished. To get there, men should work on failing at masculinity, women should work on rejecting femininity. Everyone should educate themselves on how gender works under Patriarchy, so they can combat it when they see it.
But nonbinary people are doing exactly what you’re saying everyone should do. They’re assigned as male or female at birth and saying, ‘no, I don’t identify with what you’ve given me.’ If they’re assigned as male, they’re ‘failing’ (I’m not sure why you say ‘failing’ as opposed to ‘rejecting’. Is there something I’m missing there?) masculinity. If they’re assigned as female, they’re rejecting femininity. If I’m just completely missing your point here, please do elaborate.
Hi, below is a brief explanation of why identifying as “agender” or “genderfluid” or “nonbinary” does absolutely nothing to counter the harmful force that is gender. (Taken from DGR’s Radical Feminism FAQ)
"Gender is socially and politically very real and very deadly. It is the structure of women’s oppression. Individually feigning “gender blindness” does not make gender go away: only radical action on a broad political scale can accomplish this. Gender is not just any social construction, but a social construction specifically designed to privilege one class (males) at the expense of another class (females).
Acting as if gender does not exist cannot counter it: on the contrary, that only helps to mask a system of oppressive power. No one would suggest that the working class could fight capitalism by abandoning their class consciousness. Likewise, people of color have long been adamant that “racial colorblindness” only serves the project of white supremacy by hiding the existence of oppressive race relations. By being conscious of their group condition, women and men can remain aware of their own relative oppression or privilege, which is necessary when combating systems of oppressive power.”
These labels are meaningless and private. We can not identify our way out of this hierarchy. What you really mean is you are gender nonconforming, that you don’t support or align yourself with the sex-specific stereotypes, constructed ideas of what it means to be a woman (submissive, weak, fragile, emotional, etc) or a man (aggressive, dominant, emotionally-numb, etc)
Labels like genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, etc. have no material effect on the real world, are not revolutionary acts that will lead to female liberation, and are really just more boxes placed between masculinity and femininity. The problem is the existence of gender itself, the idea that there exists some essence of man or woman inside each of us. Any idea of how a man/woman instinctively thinks or acts is wrong, because we are socialized into our gender roles based on our sex, from birth.